As you have probably guessed by now, the Otaku salaryman didn't end up waiting for me in the alley. Actually I have been too preoccupied with my boyfriend. His name is Ryu. It's not actually Ryu, but he works in a famous advertising agency which you'll probably know the name of and I don't want to get him into any trouble.
Just to keep you up to date about my appearance, I'm bald. You read correctly. When my parents were finally asleep I sneaked into the bathroom with a pair of scissors and the electric clipper my mom bought to give Dad haircuts when he still cared about grooming and and personal hygiene and employment and stuff. In the cold bathroom light, I chopped off my hair in chunks. It took me a long time to cut it all off until it was short enough to buzz. I plugged in the electric clipper and turned it on. When I was done with the buzzing, I cleaned up all my long hair and hit it in a paper bag in the trash, then wiped the sink with toilet paper. I covered my bare head with my hoodie and crawled back into my futon. I look pretty good bald. Ryu thinks so as well. In fact, he's the one who made me see just how good I look. Sometimes I walk along the pavement just below the window of our room wearing his Armani suit. Girls sometimes flirt with me thinking I'm a host from a host club. I have to escape quietly and before they realise I'm a girl or they might hit me thinking I'm making fun of them.
So anyway, about my old Jiko. She is my great grandmother. My Dad's grandmother. My Dad is named after her son, his uncle, Haruki. Jiko's son was a Sky Soldier. He was a suicide bomber and died young. Old Jiko told me that he was a soft boy, a man of words and philosophy. That's where my Dad gets it from. My Dad is into Western philosophy, like Socrates and stuff. I get that part from my great uncle, too. Like how I happened upon my hollowed out À la recherche du temps perdu. Jiko's son was a great war hero, a great suicide bomber who followed out his orders to the very end. Suicide tendencies. Another thing Dad and I get from my great uncle. My great uncle was a strong and gentle soul at the same time. Something my Dad isn't. Something I value and I'm doing everything I can to make sure I am like that. I haven't been sitting zazen as of late due to all my time being spent with Ryu, though.
Speaking of Ryu, he just walked passed. He's early. Until I can write again, this is My Jiko part 1
Monday, 2 February 2015
Monday, 10 November 2014
An ancient buddha once said
An ancient buddha once said:
For the time being, standing on the tallest mountaintop,
For the time being, moving on the deepest ocean floor,
For the time being, a demon with three heads and eight arms,
For the time being, the golden sixteen-foot body of a buddha,
For the time being, a monk's staff or a master's fly-swatter*,
For the time being, a pillar or a lantern,
For the time being, any Dick or Jane *
For the time being, the entire earth and the boundless sky.
*Jpn. chōsan rishi - lit. third son of Zhang and fourth son of Li; an idiom meaning "any ordinary person." Can also be "Any Tom, Dick, or Harry."
Nao is me, Naoko Yasutani, which is my full name but you can call me Nao because everyone else does. I'm sitting in Fifi's Lonely Apron in Akiba Electricity Town and Edith Pilaf is is singing another sad chanson. The French maid café is actually called Fifi's Lovely Apron but believe me, if you were here with me you'd agree on my minor name change. There's an otaku salaryman sitting at a table next me and staring. It's creeping me out even though I do find it a little amusing. I'm wearing my junior high school uniform and I can tell by the way he's looking at my body that he's got a major schoolgirl fetish. He's such a dope! Why is he hanging out in a French maid café in the first place?
Alright that was just a little mean.
Just a little.
The truth is that very soon I'm going to graduate from time, or maybe I shouldn't say graduate because that makes it sound as if I've actually met my goals and deserve to move on, when the fact is that I just turned 16 and I've accomplished nothing at all. Zilch. Nada. Do I sound pathetic? I don't mean to. I just want to be accurate. Maybe instead of graduate, I should say I'm going to drop out of time. Drop out. Time out. Exit my existence. I'm counting the moments.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Hey, I know! Let's count the moments together!
Babette has just brought me another Blue Mountain Coffee. Babette is my maid and also my new friend. I drink my Blue Mountain coffee black, which is unusual for a teenage girl, I know, but it's definitely the way good coffee should be drunk if you have any respect for the bitter bean.
I have just finished my coffee and I'm getting ready to leave. There's really not much preparation needed, I just need to sling my bag on and walk out. I get my coffee for free because Babette is my friend so it's not as though I'm stealing. A dine-and-dash actually. Stealing would be if I walked out the store with their coffee. Or maybe the cup. I would imagine trying to steal the coffee as is without a cup would be more problematic than getting away with stealing it.
Ugh.
That was dumb.
The creepy otaku salaryman walked out 15 minutes ago, well before I finished my coffee, I think that's about enough time for him to get bored of waiting in a dark alley with chloroform to catch me on my way home from Fifi's Lonely Apron. He'll somehow get me to a love hotel without arousing suspicion, perhaps the hotel is in on it too and they're waiting for patrons with the pass code, something inconspicuous like a room number, "room 7 please, for two," although room number 7 is always under renovations, to the public eye and staff. And then the otaku salaryman will tie me up and put the plastic shopping bag from my new cardigan over my head and rape me, and hours later the police will find my lifeless naked body bent at odd angles on the floor, next to the big round zebra-skin bed.
Or maybe none of this will even happen except in my mind and now yours, too.
If I never post again you will know that the otaku salaryman stood in the alley waiting with the chloroform for over 20 minutes to execute his hentai fantasies.
For the time being, standing on the tallest mountaintop,
For the time being, moving on the deepest ocean floor,
For the time being, a demon with three heads and eight arms,
For the time being, the golden sixteen-foot body of a buddha,
For the time being, a monk's staff or a master's fly-swatter*,
For the time being, a pillar or a lantern,
For the time being, any Dick or Jane *
For the time being, the entire earth and the boundless sky.
-Dōgen Zenji, "For the Time Being"*Jpn. hossu - a whisk made of horse tails, carried by a Zen Buddhist priest.
*Jpn. chōsan rishi - lit. third son of Zhang and fourth son of Li; an idiom meaning "any ordinary person." Can also be "Any Tom, Dick, or Harry."
Nao is me, Naoko Yasutani, which is my full name but you can call me Nao because everyone else does. I'm sitting in Fifi's Lonely Apron in Akiba Electricity Town and Edith Pilaf is is singing another sad chanson. The French maid café is actually called Fifi's Lovely Apron but believe me, if you were here with me you'd agree on my minor name change. There's an otaku salaryman sitting at a table next me and staring. It's creeping me out even though I do find it a little amusing. I'm wearing my junior high school uniform and I can tell by the way he's looking at my body that he's got a major schoolgirl fetish. He's such a dope! Why is he hanging out in a French maid café in the first place?
Alright that was just a little mean.
Just a little.
The truth is that very soon I'm going to graduate from time, or maybe I shouldn't say graduate because that makes it sound as if I've actually met my goals and deserve to move on, when the fact is that I just turned 16 and I've accomplished nothing at all. Zilch. Nada. Do I sound pathetic? I don't mean to. I just want to be accurate. Maybe instead of graduate, I should say I'm going to drop out of time. Drop out. Time out. Exit my existence. I'm counting the moments.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Hey, I know! Let's count the moments together!
Babette has just brought me another Blue Mountain Coffee. Babette is my maid and also my new friend. I drink my Blue Mountain coffee black, which is unusual for a teenage girl, I know, but it's definitely the way good coffee should be drunk if you have any respect for the bitter bean.
I have just finished my coffee and I'm getting ready to leave. There's really not much preparation needed, I just need to sling my bag on and walk out. I get my coffee for free because Babette is my friend so it's not as though I'm stealing. A dine-and-dash actually. Stealing would be if I walked out the store with their coffee. Or maybe the cup. I would imagine trying to steal the coffee as is without a cup would be more problematic than getting away with stealing it.
Ugh.
That was dumb.
The creepy otaku salaryman walked out 15 minutes ago, well before I finished my coffee, I think that's about enough time for him to get bored of waiting in a dark alley with chloroform to catch me on my way home from Fifi's Lonely Apron. He'll somehow get me to a love hotel without arousing suspicion, perhaps the hotel is in on it too and they're waiting for patrons with the pass code, something inconspicuous like a room number, "room 7 please, for two," although room number 7 is always under renovations, to the public eye and staff. And then the otaku salaryman will tie me up and put the plastic shopping bag from my new cardigan over my head and rape me, and hours later the police will find my lifeless naked body bent at odd angles on the floor, next to the big round zebra-skin bed.
Or maybe none of this will even happen except in my mind and now yours, too.
If I never post again you will know that the otaku salaryman stood in the alley waiting with the chloroform for over 20 minutes to execute his hentai fantasies.
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